Precious, Sensitive, Dysfunctional?

Whose Is Not Precious, Sensitive, Even Dysfunctional?

Yesterday, was not a good day for me. Seems I should have consulted with one of my favorite astrologers, Dee Angelys. She probably would have said ”Cancel everything, and stay in bed under the covers, cuz, honey, if you don’t, you’re gonna get it, and you’re gonna get it good!” I got it alright.

First, in trying to use get my doctors undivided attention I used my once strong and commanding junior high school teacher’s voice. In fact I raised my voice a notch and said, ”Hey! Look at me! Not the computer, me!” Holy shit! She freaked out. I mean really. Didn’t get the response I was expecting at all. Evidently I didn't read the Memo regading doctor patient relationships: Section V Paragraph 2, even if sick, the patient cannot express angry or frustration at the doctor, even if the anger is actually misdirected or due to frustration. She said I made her fell threatened and I couldn’t for the life of me extricate myself from that perception. She got locked into something. What it was I am not going to speculate. This morning I got the call from the secretary. "The doctor says you are discharged form the practice at this office!" Wow!

Bye, bye, Dr. Hurtzmore. In over ten years of 4 10 minute visits a year visits except the last which was the very first time one I though we could communicate and that was 40 minutes I never felt she ever really listened to me, the guy who is suffering from a chronic condition and that we hardly knew each other. To her, I felt I just was my "numbers." Sorry but, "Frankie don't play that."

Funny thing I never really disagreed with anything up to a week before.I just was distressed by the apparent side effect of a drug and how I didn’t like how she was dealing with it. I just wanted it to clear my system, she insisted on doing yet another consult. And she certainly was justified in her approach I only wanted A done before doing B. Golly!

To assume == Ass U & Me

Same thing with an old time friend. I though I was being playful he got snippy. I was going to get even snippier. Nevermind. Schoolyard nonsense.

But

Playfulness without communication == Bad communication.

May be I’ve lost a friend. We’ll see. Time and all that….

I feel responsible. I feel sad. But I miss understanding and forgiveness. Well maybe my friend will forgive, but not the doctor. Something to chew on and to process and to learn from.